‘Personality’ is what distinguishes you from other people – the unique attributes and qualities that make you who you are. It is an accumulation of your values and beliefs, expectations, experiences and decisions you’ve made. So the question is, what can you improve, and how will that improvement make your life better?
Your beliefs are derived from your background conditioning, mostly from childhood. This conditioning happens unconsciously. Your parents, environment, social norms and expectations, experiences and other influences have shaped who you are.
You did not CHOOSE your beliefs, and yet they are what gives you your world view! If you operate under negative beliefs like:
- money is hard to come by
- only some people get to live fabulous lives
- we are victims of circumstances
- abundance is everywhere if you see it and allow it to come into your life
- everyone has the ability to change their beliefs and so change their lives
- we are creators of circumstances
Look around at friends and family. Some people inspire, uplift and motivate you. Others drain you. The first step in designing your personality is to make a list of the personality traits you wish to embody. This is your road map.
Meditate on these traits. FEEL the positive, happy, loving vibration that these traits create in your energy! It feels awesome to embody these traits!
And then, create the ‘new you’:
1. Do an honest self-assessment. This is hard! It’s tempting to gloss over unpleasant traits and emphasize the good. Don’t. And don’t worry if you’ve got a bit of a split personality at times – we all do! You might find yourself being very compassionate at times and brutally cold at others. Be honest about your traits so that you can laser in on what you want to change. For example: if you have ever procrastinated, said unkind things, lied, cheated, put yourself down, failed to speak up for your needs, etc. DO NOT brush them off as being due to circumstances. In any situation, you have a choice of how to act. At this stage, identify traits and behaviors you have exhibited in the past that you don’t feel good about (you know, that sick “I wish I hadn’t done/said that”) feeling.
The key is, if a trait or behavior makes you feel good, you want to keep it. If it makes you feel bad, it’s time to jettison it. It does not serve you.
2. Clarify the qualities you want to embody. You’ve already got a list; now pick the top one or two BAD traits that you want to transform. For example…
- If you lie (even white lies count), focus on developing honesty and trustworthiness
- If you are negative (including even a little drama, or criticism and judgment), focus on seeing the good in everything and being positive
- If you find yourself being too attached to “the way things are” and other people, focus on learning non-attachment (still able to love, unconditionally, but without the neediness that some other person ‘completes’ you)
3. Take a virtual test drive.
You know how when you make a large purchase, you are usually encouraged
to take a test drive or to try out the product or service for a period
of time before you commit. Spend the next 30-45 days test-driving your new personality by visualizing yourself embodying the traits you admire.
After that, give yourself permission to revert to your old behaviors
and perceptions. This takes the pressure off. Why 30-45 days? That’s how
long it takes to create a new neural pathway in your brain. You’re not
being asked to BE that person; just to visualize it, twice a day for 5 minutes at a time (first thing in the morning and last thing before you go to sleep). A few rules:- You must not miss a single day
- Visualize ONLY the desired result, NOT how things are now, and NOT the process
- Add positive affirmations to your visualization, always in the present tense of having these traits already: as you visualize yourself in a scene, add, “I AM (honest, proactive, punctual, trustworthy, positive, compassionate, etc.). Remember to focus only on one or two traits so your visualization can be crystal clear.
- FEEL how good it is to embody these traits. Awesome! Beyond awesome!
Start ‘walking the talk’, too. If you find yourself in a situation where you can choose to revert to your old behavior or act according to your new personality traits, which one will you choose? Try taking on that new personality and see what happens and how you feel.
The best part? You’re going to raise your vibration significantly! It’s no coincidence that if a behavior or thought makes you feel good, it has a very high energetic vibration. Likewise, you know that you feel terrible inside when you think, say or do things that are negative. As you raise your vibration, you’ll start seeing improvements in your life experience as you attract similar high-vibrating energies! For more on raising your vibration, check out the Love or Above Spiritual Toolkit.
It’s important to realize that changing your personality is not changing “who you are” – it’s more of a software upgrade in the way you think and act, and by taking on one or two traits at a time, you make small incremental changes with a huge payoff. Underneath it all, you’re still the wonderful you, only with a higher, more attractive-to-good-things vibration.
Gia Simone
giasimone11@gmail.com
giasimone11@gmail.com
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